I felt myself traveling away from me in those moments and days I let me fall into you. You holding me up in your way held me captive as I experienced what had never before been a gift to me. If I could have found a way to exist solely in those moments I might have let you love me longer. But living as a vibrant woman requires being true to me, and each time my fingers interlocked with yours I lost a little piece of me.
I wasn’t cognizant of the changes instantly; perhaps because falling into another precludes us, temporarily, from seeing through our full peripheral lenses. But, the act of the fall is temporary as well, and as I approached the landing zone I started to regain my sense of clarity.
I loved you as one who shared my journey with me momentarily, and I loved you fiercely in those moments we found ourselves solely focused on one another. I am grateful to have the beauty of those moments stored somewhere in my heart, just as I am grateful that I knew it was time, again, for me to sojourn.
The pull to be true to myself is intrinsic – a force of my inner nature – that elemental part of me that recognizes detours and sends me speed bumps to get my attention.
I am grateful for the beauty of unplanned moments that test my understanding of self. Equally, I am grateful that my inner map is strong and the journey home repeatedly fills me with life.
Suzy Ham 