Category: the struggle is real

How Do You Spell WEDNESDAY?

My daughter decided today that she wants to have a party, at our house, next Wednesday. For her whole class. That meant, of course, that she had to start making invitations this morning when she was really supposed to be preparing herself to be school bound. There are plenty of little tidbits to talk about here, aside from the fact that we’re not having a party and … Read More How Do You Spell WEDNESDAY?

Melting Into Me

Does too much to say make the saying harder to come by? Have you consigned your will to create with the words that entice you or are they challenging you to do more and better, forcing you to feel deeper and stronger? You don’t know how to write yourself out of what you have fallen into so you simply stop writing because, maybe, if … Read More Melting Into Me

Lotta Sorta Kinda

Lot of tiredLot of 2nd grade crying followed byLot of lecturing on when crying is and is not effective and acknowledgedWith examples…Lot of great homeworkLot of togethernessLot of flag football lovin’Little of mom actually playing footballLot of praise on my skills (throwing not catching, just to be clear he says)Lot of screams from the pig upstairsLot of ignoring of the pig by its ownerLittle … Read More Lotta Sorta Kinda

we

it is me. most definitely, me. who is confusing, even to, myself. still, you have desire. of. none. for me… not the me, of now, for she – in all of her she-ness… is a trigger.  that. ignites within… you (she hates that). we have taken the worst, of us… to display in all ways, to us… you, and me, we. never. planned. this. … Read More we

mentor me tomorrow or always

I have been remiss in my writing.  I have no excuse other than one that is fabulous:  I have too many passions.  I am and have been trying my gosh-darndest to devote equal love to each on a daily basis but I am, as I have always been, a work in progress. I could spend each moment of my existence happily floating amongst the … Read More mentor me tomorrow or always

cranberries

pain in the deepest blue-gray swell of ocean crashing on cliffs and exploding in my head. beg to leave, go, settle into calm, peaceful sky but no.  medicate without true placation i breathe in and breathe out mindful of each ocurence as it needles and gnaws, clawing at each part of my body wearing me down to nothing more than a staccato reaction of … Read More cranberries

crash

Saturday morning.  Sunrise.  White froth thrown from cliff-crashing waves dances before me, as if to say ‘Good Morning’. Sun threatens to pierce through the morning clouds – her hue sure to influence the direction of my thoughts. I am the grand crash splashing myself about the rocks; the uneven yet consistent tide; the fluid combination of darkness and light. Leather & Lace. These cliffs … Read More crash

faith

He needed the $60 cash I had in my wallet, so he could get a hotel room for his wife and toddler-aged daughter. Her name is Faith, he said.  Wounded war vet with no help from the VA; struggling to survive day-by-day, he said.  His name was Johnny.  I don’t remember his wife’s name, but I found it uncanny that they had named their … Read More faith

phoenix

from the ashes of her deconstructed being, she learns to take hesitant breaths. from the fears that left her knowing nothing of herself, she sees glimmers of enlightenment and love for her soul, and lightness in her dark. sate amid her famine tears with a purpose, she knows, but is still to weary to define. from the ashes of her deconstructed being, she learns … Read More phoenix

click and send

My biggest regret is that I did not apologize the moment I knew my words hurt you.  That I did not immediately recant…and tell you that none of what I retaliated with mattered, because I cared not about being right…I cared about you. But I let that be the end. Click and send. We had nowhere to go from there except better.  Back to … Read More click and send

weak

Lonely tonight finds my arms figuratively reaching out to touch you, yet I know that is not fair.  It is only in my weakest moments that I reach for you, and only because the burden of holding myself up alone is temporarily too much to bear.  The breaking down of me is always temporary, though.  Thinking of you tonight is met with tears in … Read More weak

more than

Tears well up and will their salty selves to fall from my eyes as I fight to hold them back.  Insecurity washes over me, and I mourn me as the corners of my eyes pull and sting with pain.  Sadness consumes my being.  Tears beg now to crash and fall hard and fully.  Wash me clean and allow me to begin again. I hold … Read More more than