I used to think life held some great destination that I was going to arrive at one day and have it all figured out. I had a mental list of things that needed to be checked off and then somehow I was going to stop growing. Because I had gotten there. Or something weird like that. I don’tContinue reading “out-smarting the conveyor belt”
Author Archives: Suzy Ham
love > markers
O lover of sweet treats and markers; I am a lover of you. Even with your guilty face and conniving ways my heart is sold to “and when I get back in here let me see all the colors laid out and ready for me” and “when I put this broom away I will takeContinue reading “love > markers”
melting into me
Does too much to say make the saying harder to come by? Have you consigned your will to create with the words that entice you or are they challenging you to do more and better, forcing you to feel deeper and stronger? You don’t know how to write yourself out of what you have fallenContinue reading “melting into me”
lotta sorta kinda
Lot of tiredLot of 2nd grade crying followed byLot of lecturing on when crying is and is not effective and acknowledgedWith examples…Lot of great homeworkLot of togethernessLot of flag football lovin’Little of mom actually playing footballLot of praise on my skills (throwing not catching, just to be clear he says)Lot of screams from the pigContinue reading “lotta sorta kinda”
outside in
You, my child. You are before me with eyes wide open and I search myself for what it means to raise you. Love over contempt, action over apathy, acceptance over fear. We teach by example, you and I; learning through each day we are allowed another opportunity. I and you – anger and retract, push andContinue reading “outside in”
we
it is me. most definitely, me. who is confusing, even to, myself. still, you have desire. of. none. for me… not the me, of now, for she – in all of her she-ness… is a trigger. that. ignites within… you (she hates that). we have taken the worst, of us… to display in all ways,Continue reading “we”
ily, mm
I saw your beautiful being tonight through tears. Tears that I had two years ago. Tears that were easier to define tonight, though. They were tears of joy and amazement at you…a young woman now; no longer a child…and they streamed from my eyes the moment I set eyes on your eyes. You see, youContinue reading “ily, mm”
mentor me tomorrow or always
I have been remiss in my writing. I have no excuse other than one that is fabulous: I have too many passions. I am and have been trying my gosh-darndest to devote equal love to each on a daily basis but I am, as I have always been, a work in progress. I could spendContinue reading “mentor me tomorrow or always”
taxi cab from monterey
i want to tic with kerouac in the shiveringest of places. mind does not matter if mind is over matter. that place. i see him. i feel me there. i sense him beside me; red wine exhales and musty clothing. he is my breath, my thoughts, my words. i understand; no explanation extended. i justContinue reading “taxi cab from monterey”
selfie
arms grasping at time- soundtracks; roadmaps; endless photographs scribbling frenzies to fill pages with- hold this moment; love intensely; let it go
