At the beach freezing my ass off but husband needs the ocean. So do I, it turns out, but he is better at making it a priority than I am. Regardless, I am still freezing. And I also love being here. Use towel as blanket and take it all in. He pulls up “Old Country”Continue reading “sun-day”
Author Archives: Suzy Ham
letter to a friend
I heard the struggle in your voice today and I can’t stop feeling your pain and wishing I could carry it for you. I heard you doubt everything about yourself and I wanted nothing more than to wrap you in my arms and hold you close; whispering sweet nothings that are everything amazing about you,Continue reading “letter to a friend”
brave new world
What a strange experience this covid thing has been. Strangely foreign; strangely beautiful. A paradox of existence. I began the pandemic wanting to strangle everyone I was sheltered-in-place with. I had mini- verging on mega-meltdowns trying to navigate the new landscape that lacked the daily peace and quiet I was used to, and likely someContinue reading “brave new world”
embracing vulnerability
My son got his license the other day and that next step of independence has hit me. Hard. It got me all thinking about life on a deeper level and being all sentimental and goopy and it just so happens that fate has gifted me an empty house, for the first time since March, soContinue reading “embracing vulnerability”
be still and listen
I’ve been spending my recent quarantine time listening to others speak to me through podcasts, interviews, lectures, classes and TED Talks. I had forgotten how much my mind loves to be fed and watered and grown. I had lost sight of how much nourishment is out there to feed my soul if I simply beContinue reading “be still and listen”
pandemic reflections
Day who-knows-what of quarantine and I am finally starting to love and semi-understand the me I have struggled to embrace throughout this pandemic. I spent the first fifty-or-so days feeling completely lost. Immobilized. I couldn’t do anything except sit and shame myself for doing nothing. And then I felt like shit about that. And thenContinue reading “pandemic reflections”
checkmate
Pain and stoicism; loneliness and longing. This is how I describe you. Within these walls of “comfort” you built was ever there an eye to see and know you, a heart to understand all you felt and feared? The deepest parts of you threaten to burrow into the healed crevices of me and I acheContinue reading “checkmate”
stupid is as stupid does
It’s hard to believe that eight years have passed since I have been in this house instead of that one; this life instead of that one. These responsibilities in addition to those. Surreal, really. There is no super to call when the toilets overflow or the fridge leaks, but if you have known me forContinue reading “stupid is as stupid does”
nobody likes a bitch
She views things much differently than I do is what I said. I thought little of my statement in the moment. And then my analyzer kicked in, hours later perhaps, and I realized the ubiquitous difference between what I uttered and what I actually believed. And then I knew I had to write it out.Continue reading “nobody likes a bitch”
#nonbinary #parenting #love
My child identifies as non-binary. I don’t know how long they have identified this way, but they told me about seven months ago. Sometimes they correct me when I use she, and sometimes they don’t, and sometimes I catch myself mid sh and switch to they. Luckily for me as a parent, my child isContinue reading “#nonbinary #parenting #love”
