What a strange experience this covid thing has been. Strangely foreign; strangely beautiful. A paradox of existence. I began the pandemic wanting to strangle everyone I was sheltered-in-place with. I had mini- verging on mega-meltdowns trying to navigate the new landscape that lacked the daily peace and quiet I was used to, and likely someContinue reading “brave new world”
Author Archives: Suzy Ham
embracing vulnerability
My son got his license the other day and that next step of independence has hit me. Hard. It got me all thinking about life on a deeper level and being all sentimental and goopy and it just so happens that fate has gifted me an empty house, for the first time since March, soContinue reading “embracing vulnerability”
be still and listen
I’ve been spending my recent quarantine time listening to others speak to me through podcasts, interviews, lectures, classes and TED Talks. I had forgotten how much my mind loves to be fed and watered and grown. I had lost sight of how much nourishment is out there to feed my soul if I simply beContinue reading “be still and listen”
pandemic reflections
Day who-knows-what of quarantine and I am finally starting to love and semi-understand the me I have struggled to embrace throughout this pandemic. I spent the first fifty-or-so days feeling completely lost. Immobilized. I couldn’t do anything except sit and shame myself for doing nothing. And then I felt like shit about that. And thenContinue reading “pandemic reflections”
checkmate
Pain and stoicism; loneliness and longing. This is how I describe you. Within these walls of “comfort” you built was ever there an eye to see and know you, a heart to understand all you felt and feared? The deepest parts of you threaten to burrow into the healed crevices of me and I acheContinue reading “checkmate”
stupid is as stupid does
It’s hard to believe that eight years have passed since I have been in this house instead of that one; this life instead of that one. These responsibilities in addition to those. Surreal, really. There is no super to call when the toilets overflow or the fridge leaks, but if you have known me forContinue reading “stupid is as stupid does”
nobody likes a bitch
She views things much differently than I do is what I said. I thought little of my statement in the moment. And then my analyzer kicked in, hours later perhaps, and I realized the ubiquitous difference between what I uttered and what I actually believed. And then I knew I had to write it out.Continue reading “nobody likes a bitch”
#nonbinary #parenting #love
My child identifies as non-binary. I don’t know how long they have identified this way, but they told me about seven months ago. Sometimes they correct me when I use she, and sometimes they don’t, and sometimes I catch myself mid sh and switch to they. Luckily for me as a parent, my child isContinue reading “#nonbinary #parenting #love”
if
If you’d just practiced more You would have been better If you’d just played better He would have noticed you If you’d have simply lost ten pounds He might have acknowledged you If you’d have known there were requirements to his love that made sense, You might have: Loved yourself more… Never questioned your worth…Continue reading “if”
how do you spell WEDNESDAY?
My daughter decided today that she wants to have a party, at our house, next Wednesday. For her whole class. That meant, of course, that she had to start making invitations this morning when she was really supposed to be preparing herself to be school bound. There are plenty of little tidbits to talk about here, aside fromContinue reading “how do you spell WEDNESDAY?”
