I heard the struggle in your voice today and I can’t stop feeling your pain and wishing I could carry it for you. I heard you doubt everything about yourself and I wanted nothing more than to wrap you in my arms and hold you close; whispering sweet nothings that are everything amazing about you, into your ears of self judgment.
It’s hard to wake up every day and feel like life is not behaving exactly as you would like it to; that you are not being who you know yourself to be. And it’s really super easy and convenient to get mad about that. It actually propels you for a bit, but not always in the right direction. At some point (sometimes sooner, sometimes later, in my experience) the anger runs out simply because of pure exhaustion, and then that pesky fear biatch sets in and it takes everything to a whole new level of “I CAN’T DO THIS.” Crazy thing is, though, you can, and you do every single day…it’s just hard to see ourselves clearly sometimes. Especially when we are hell bent on believing we suck.
I wish you could see all the beautiful things in yourself that I see in you. I’m also not gonna force feed you, because I have been in your place multiple times and I needed to dig my own self out each time, on my schedule and by my rules. But I do need you to know that I see you, and I know you’re gonna see yourself again soon. You’re gonna have kinder thoughts about yourself; you’re gonna have the strength to keep fighting the good fight; you’re gonna like what you see in the mirror. Wash, rinse, repeat. This never ends, so don’t give more value to the highs than lows; the bests than worsts; the beauty than the ugly. It’s all necessary to complete us. It’s all valid. It is all to be embraced.
Take it a little easier on yourself. Smile at the amazing human you are. There is nobody else in the world who sees even a fraction of the ugliness in you that you see in yourself. You are beauty and you are love.